Stoptober 2026: Alcohol, Addiction and Quit Smoking Support for UK Veterans
30 Sep 2026
Deployment & Family Life
Support for the whole family – before they go, while they’re away and when they come home
Deployment changes everything at home. One parent runs the house alone. Children count down days. Plans get cancelled. Then, months later, everyone has to adjust all over again.
Both parts are hard. The time apart gets most of the attention, but the homecoming can be just as tricky. This page brings together the support available to spouses, partners, children and wider family at every stage.
Before deployment: get ready together
The weeks before someone leaves are often busy and tense. A bit of planning now makes the months ahead easier.
- Sort the practical stuff. Make sure you know where key documents are, who to call about the house, the car and bills, and that you have access to joint accounts.
- Check your contacts. Know the name of your unit welfare officer and how to reach them. Keep your details up to date so the unit can contact you.
- Talk to the children. Be honest in a way that suits their age. Agree how you’ll stay in touch and mark the time, such as a countdown chart or a shared book.
- Tell school or nursery. Teachers can only help if they know what’s happening at home.
- Line up your own support. Think about who you’ll lean on – friends, family, neighbours or other Forces families nearby.
During deployment: you don’t have to do it alone
Running a home single-handed while worrying about someone overseas is exhausting. It’s normal to feel lonely, anxious, angry or flat – sometimes all in one day.
Support is available from:
- Your unit welfare team – the first point of contact for problems at home, including emergencies.
- HIVE Information Centres – free information and signposting for the whole Service community, including deployment, childcare, health and local services. Available face to face and online.
- Your Families Federation – the Army Families Federation, Naval Families Federation and RAF Families Federation are independent of the chain of command and can help with any issue affected by Service life. They also produce deployment guides for families.
- Royal Navy Family and People Support – for Royal Navy and Royal Marines families.
For children, Little Troopers offers free resources for home and school to help with separation, plus events and activities for children with a parent deployed.
→ [Read our guide: Supporting your family during deployment]
Coming home: adjusting to family life again
Homecoming is often pictured as the happy ending. In reality it can take weeks or months to settle.
Routines have changed. Children have grown. The parent at home has been making every decision, and the returning partner may feel like a visitor in their own house. They may also be tired, on edge or quiet after what they’ve experienced.
Things that help:
- Expect it to take time, and don’t plan too much in the first few weeks.
- Let routines blend back gradually rather than switching overnight.
- Talk about how you both feel, including what was hard.
- Give children space to reconnect at their own pace.
- Notice if problems such as poor sleep, irritability, drinking more or pulling away go on for more than a few weeks. That’s a sign to get help, not to wait it out.
Relationship support
Long periods apart put strain on any relationship. Getting support early, before problems grow, makes a difference.
Relate offers free counselling for many Forces couples and families, funded by Service charities including the Royal Navy and Royal Marines Charity and the RAF Benevolent Fund. Free online programmes are also available for some serving couples.
Mental health support for spouses and partners
Military partners often put everyone else first. But your own wellbeing matters too, and it affects the whole family.
If you’re struggling with anxiety, low mood or stress, speak to your GP and tell them you’re part of a Forces family. Your Families Federation and HIVE can also point you to local support.
If you need help now:
Samaritans: call 116 123, free, 24/7
NHS 111: choose the mental health option
In an emergency: call 999
Bereavement support
When a serving parent or partner dies, the whole family needs support, and so do children.
Scotty’s Little Soldiers supports children and young people aged 0 to 25 whose parent served in the Armed Forces and has died, whatever the cause. Support includes one-to-one bereavement help, respite breaks and the chance to meet others who understand. Call 0800 092 8571.
FAQs: Deployment and family life
Who do I contact if there’s an emergency at home while my partner is deployed?
Contact the unit welfare office. They can advise on support and, where appropriate, help get a message to your partner.
Is there deployment support for children?
Yes. Little Troopers offers free resources and events for children with a parent away, and the Families Federations publish deployment guides that include advice for children. Let your child’s school know too.
Can I get free relationship counselling as a military couple?
Many Forces couples can. Relate provides free counselling funded by Service charities. Eligibility depends on your Service, so check with Relate or your Families Federation.
Why is homecoming so hard when we’ve missed each other?
Everyone has changed while apart. Roles, routines and children have moved on. Most families need several weeks to adjust, and that’s normal.
Where can I get help if my partner seems different since coming home?
Speak to your unit welfare officer or their medical team, and encourage your partner to see a GP. If you’re worried about their immediate safety, call 999.
