Self-Care Tips for Military Spouses During Deployment

Deployment can be an incredibly challenging time for military spouses. Saying goodbye, often in the quiet hours of the night, knowing that the months ahead may bring limited or no contact, is never easy. No matter how many deployments you've been through, it rarely feels like it gets any easier. But while you're holding everything together at home, it's vital to remember that your own well-being matters too. Former military spouse and our content manager, Faye Copp, shares her self-care tips to help you navigate these tough months.

1. Build your own support system

Whether you’re living near family and friends or have just moved to a completely new area, deployment can feel incredibly isolating. I experienced this firsthand, just after getting married, I found myself 200 miles from home, in a new place where I didn’t know a soul. It was a long deployment, and the loneliness hit hard.

If you’re in a similar position, perhaps living in married quarters and still getting to know the area, try to connect with other military spouses. It can feel daunting at first, but attending coffee mornings or local events on camp is a great way to meet people who truly understand what you’re going through. Just putting yourself out there can make a huge difference. Virtually, there are a number of fantastic military spouse Instagram accounts who detail military life and are a great way to also feel connected - @thismamalife and @jodiespacagna are two of my favourites.

Stay connected with loved ones back home too. Plan trips to visit family, and invite them to come see you, it helps break up the time and gives you something to look forward to.

And if you have children, take advantage of the family events often organised during deployments. These are not only great for the kids but also a way to build your own support network. Creating a sense of community, even in a new place, can be a real lifeline.

The Troopr website is full of opportunities to help people throughout their military life and beyond, including during deployments. Explore local drop-in sessions, clubs and groups here.

2. Pursue a new hobby

It might feel easier said than done, especially if you're solo parenting, managing the household, working, and filling the role of both mum and dad. But carving out something that’s just for you can make a world of difference. If you’re able, consider joining a gym, an exercise group or getting into running, physical activity is a proven boost for mental health, and setting a fitness goal can help keep you motivated and focused. Many gyms offer military discounts making them really economical - take a look at Defence Discount Service to find out more.

Or perhaps you'd prefer to explore something entirely new, like painting, cooking, or volunteering in your local community. Many organisations actively support military families such as The Soldiers Art Academy and Veterans Community in Art.

Finding a passion project gives you something to look forward to and can be incredibly fulfilling during those long months apart. Running has always been my way to escape, clear my head, and stay strong both mentally and physically and definitely helped me during those long months apart.

3. Communicate with your spouse

Every family’s situation is different, and contact during deployment can be limited, but stay connected however and whenever you can. Even a few minutes on FaceTime can completely lift your day. And there’s something truly special about receiving a handwritten ‘bluey’ through the door. For me, it always felt a little old-fashioned and romantic, and it's something you can hold onto forever.

Many people find comfort in creating scrapbooks or journaling memories, especially when children are involved. It’s a meaningful way to document everyday moments and share them later, helping your partner feel connected to life back home, even from miles away. The RAF, Army and Naval Families Federation all offer deployment support packs which include many tools such as the ones mentioned above to support you and your family and help keep communication channels open.

4. Plan little milestones

Having something to look forward to each month can really help the time pass more easily during a deployment. It doesn’t have to be big, maybe it’s a night out with friends, a visit from a loved one, or working toward a personal goal. Whatever it is, having something positive on the horizon can give you focus and motivation, helping to shift your mind away from counting down the days and focus on the positive things in your life.

5. Remember you are not alone

Let yourself cry, feel your emotions, and most importantly, give yourself grace. Being a military spouse isn’t easy, and deployments can be incredibly tough. But please remember - you are not alone. You’re doing your best, and that’s more than enough.

There are many organisations who can help you and your family. From Little Troopers and Forces Children Scotland, who offer support to children, to Combat Stress, Recruit for Spouses, SSAFA and Help for Heroes, who offer more comprehensive support for military families.

Celebrate the small wins, hold on to the little joys, and keep faith in the homecoming, that moment will be worth it all. You’ve got this.